Bellavs. Winry

Bella vs. Winry

*Note: This is the sequel thing to my Edward vs. Edward thing. This time, my friend Kate will be helping me and Nik. She'll be my co-host, and Nik…is still freaking camera-shy, so…yeah. Same as last time, pretty easy to figure out. If you haven't read my other installment, please go read it now. It isn't relevant to this one, I just want publicity…*

Kindrix: *is still using Nik's hairbrush as a microphone* Hello, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the next installment of this little series. Helping me out today is Nik, the camera-shy uke cat boy camera man!

Nik: Hi!

Kindrix: And, today, we have a new co-host! My NBS (non-biological sister, fyi) Kate!

Kate: Hello! *is wearing a shirt that has a picture of Edward Cullen being burned to pieces*

Nik: Kate-san, you do realize that shirt's sending negative messages to the viewers, right?

Kate: That's why I'm wearing it.

Nik: I see…

Kindrix: Anyway, today, we're going to be doing something a little out of the norm. You see, Edward vs. Edward fanfics, are quite common, but we never see any Winry vs. Bella fics. So I thought it would be a slightly original little idea to give the two girls their chance to have the stage. So, our first guest is Bella Swan!

Bella: Hello…*is being shy*

Kate: No.

Kindrix: Whaddaya mean, no?

Kate: I mean, she's not allowed to be all shy and modest when all of the people in her series think she's the shit. If the retarded people in Twilight treat her like she's the best thing in the freaking world, she better act like it!

Bella: B-But I…

Kate: No buts!

Bella: I'll get Edward to kill you.

Kindrix: And we'll get the real Edward, Alucard, Dracula, and Armstrong to kill you, and then we'll have Colonel Mustang burn your gay Edward to a crisp.

Bella: Eep!

Kindrix: Anyway, our second guest is Winry Rockbell!

Winry: *walks in and waves, wearing greasy cargo pants and a pair of flip-flops were her usual black boob-tube* Hi people!

Bella: Yuck, where did you get that garbage outfit?

Winry: Uh, my closet?

Bella: It's disgusting. My god…*is showing her bitchy side*

Winry: Well, so is your face!

Bella: So is your hair!

Winry: So is your boyfriend!

Bella: *quiet*

Kindrix&Kate&Nik: Pwned.

Winry: *twirling a wrench in her hand and smirking evilly at Bella*

Bella: Well at least I don't spend my time playing with scrap metal.

Winry: That's what Jacob does.

Bella: Jacob's inferior to my Edward anyway.

Winry: Jeez, why in the heck would someone fall in love with you?

Kindrix: Okay, before this get's too far, let's actually start this thing. Bella, why don't you tell people why you're the better leading lady?

Bella: Well, I'm shy, timid, clumsy, beautiful, have the hottest boyfriend in the world, and am the perfect damsel in distress. Therefore, I am the perfect woman, wife, and mother.

Winry&Kate: Bullshit…

Bella: *pouts*

Kindrix: Anyway, Winry, your turn.

Winry: Well, I have a personality that doesn't include "perfection" as a trait. I know how to defend myself, I can make a living on my own without a man, and I'm not a self-insert character that looks exactly like my creator.

Kate: Winry wins!

Kindrix: Shut it, it hasn't been decided yet!

Kate: But you think Winry is more awesome than Bella too! You told me!

Kindrix: Yeah, but we gotta lengthen this thing a little bit, so shut up!

Nik: Can I ask a question?

Kindrix: Sure.

Nik: Okay! Okay, if you were stranded on a desert island and could only take one thing, what would you take?

Kate: Why would you ask that?

Nik: I wanna see what they say!

Winry: Uh…a phone so I could call for someone to help me.

Bella: Edward! He'd save me!

Kindrix&Kate: Why does that not surprise me?

Bella: You're just jealous because neither of you have boyfriends!

Kindrix: I'm a single-pringle and proud of it! *Note that this statement is in fact true.*

Winry: You're just jealous because your creator forgot to give you a personality, Miss Mary-Sue!

Bella: Are all of those oil fumes getting to your head? I have the perfect personality!

Winry: I swear to God, if you call yourself perfect one more time, I'm going to shove my wrench up your ass!

Bella: Pfft, I'm perfect, you can't hurt me!

Winry: That's it! Come here, you whiny little bitch!

Kindrix: Wait, Winry!

Winry: What?!

Kindrix: I wanna make this just a little longer, so one more question, than you can beat her up.

Kate: What is with you and long fics?

Kindrix: Shut up, this question has a purpose.

Kate: Alright…

Kindrix: Okay, so Bella, what would you do if your Edward died and Winry what would you do if your Edward died?

Bella: I'd kill myself to be with him forever, because he'd want me to be happy and the only way I'd be happy is if I was with him, so that'd be the only way we'd be together!

Winry&Kate: Shocker…*sarcastic*

Kindrix: Anyway, Winry?

Winry: Well, I'd probably be upset for a while, I mean, he is my best friend, so, yeah, I'd most likely cy for a few days, but I know that he'd want me to get over myself and live a happy life since he couldn't, so I'd eventually get back on my feet and keep living.

Kate: There now, you see?! That's how a real woman acts, Bella-sue!

Bella: No, a real woman needs a man to protect her, is a stay-at-home wife, and swoons every time she sees her man. This chick over here is just a lesbian.

Winry: You wanna say that again, you snobby little bitch?!

Bella: You're. A. Lesbian. Did you understand that?

Winry: That tears it! Kindrix, can I beat her up now? Please?

Kindrix&Kate&Nik: Please do.

Bella: Eep! Edward, save me!

Winry: I'll kill him too! *chases Bella off the stage while all three hosts listen to the Mary-Sue's dying screams*

Kindrix: Well, that about wraps up this little thing. I may do more VS. fics in the future, so keep a look out for them. They'll be with various other anime and shows, but I'm a total Twihater, so a lot of them will have Twilight bashing in them. Please stay tuned!

Kate: *is watching Bella get ripped to shreds by Winry* This is so awesome.

Nik: It looks kinda like a horror movie. What, where did Winry get that chainsaw?!